Monday, 16 January 2017

HEY GIRL, HEY BOY, SUPERSTAR PRESIDENT ?? HERE WE GO !!

This Friday, Donald Trump will climb up some steps in front of a big white building with a big dome on it, put his hand on a bible and after uttering some words that make little sense to anybody who isn't American, becomes the 45th President of the United States of America. He gets to do so because he won the Presidential Election which was held late last year. All seems pretty straightforward and fair enough to me so far. Not that you'd know it.

Six days after Trump's election, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth that would have made you think that they'd elected Donald Duck rather than Donald Trump, the world press were reviewing their comprehension of what the people of their own countries really want. The polls predicting a Hillary Clinton win were blind to reality. And the reality is that working class people, and nationals of each country, are fed up with being forced to be part of a system of globalism that doesn't include them, the working poor, with traditional values.

The working class feels that 'globalization' and a tender hearted response to refugees are values that don't include them - the base of each of their countries. Why should a working class person feel that Uganda and Lybia and Ecuador should be aided when working class people live under the same daily pressures? And why shouldn't a country's borders keep out others? That's why a home has a fence and a locking front door. Being theatrically concerned with the plight of others is a false concern, when one doesn't have the power to help those others. The IMF or World Bank may have the power to help such people, but not a wage slave who is month by month in danger of losing their home.

Liberalism has become an abstraction of compassion, manipulated by big money just as so called conservatism is an abstraction for the conservation of the home front first - the farm - the crops - the nation. Conservative today means rich and predatory. Perhaps conservatism gained its original meaning from the Depression days or even from earlier log cabin days. But conservatism isn't conservation today, it's a blind behind which the wealthy operate to take money from the only place it exists - other people. Just as liberalism isn't compassionate in action but only in lip service when there is no power to back it up.

What is happening with this global self searching, prompted by Trump's election, is that working class people are desperate enough to elect a billionaire, even if not intended that way, because he represents them as outsiders, and shown the little people themselves that they have power. And that's what a 'progressive' movement wanted. That's what was wanted by Bernie Sander's revolution. So, is Trump a clown, or does he have any real shared values with common people and not just star power? Will he betray the very people who elected him? Time will tell. But the people that have both voted for him and the ones that are still weeping in the streets about his election, have gained a self awareness - that the outsiders have power. That in fact these 'outsiders' are actually the political body.

Martin Luther King's words; 'let it be that one day we judge a man by the content of his character and not by the colour of his skin '- applies as well to sexual alternatives. Be judged not by your sexual or gender preference but by the content of your character. Difficult to do so when there is Fukushima, global warming from carbon emissions and the murderous, predatory wars against small countries for their oil and resources, as well as poverty and synthetic and poisonous food production as issues to attend to.

The populism and nationalism that has just shocked the world with Trump's election, and that is spreading to other countries, is not necessarily a celebration of Trump himself, but is the expression of a vast swath of humanity that has had no representation because liberalism and conservatism have become hive mentalities divorced from critical human concerns. Home, family, nation - then world peace - is the natural sequence of concerns and for which there is no spiffy title like liberal or conservative.

A liberal trait that is commonly seen as true, is that an abstract sentimentality for humanism sounds good, but without the power or the resources to do something about it, is just empty and self serving lip synch. People have long resented such lip service without concrete action. To help others we need to accumulate some strength ourselves. There is one common enemy of humanity and it's the greed and self service of the plutocracy in whose shadow we all live. The rich like to be painted as humanistic and concerned because they have to walk the streets and be photographed for the magazines. They also like to own the press and divide and conquer with hollow words like conservative and liberal. But to realistically help all struggling people and nature, and to accumulate the strength to do it, we can't eviscerate any one of the components of humanity. 

So, we've got four years of the Donald whether we like it or not. Let's let the man get on with the job, however much we may or may not like it, and I can get back to being funny.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

JUST BUTTON IT ...

I read with amusement this week of the kind of things that now come with internet connectivity. It seems we can’t seem to go for 5 minutes without reaching for our Blackberrys and iPads to check on our Tweets. Even most TV’s these days are capable of showing YouTube clips of laughing babies and dogs with sunglasses.

One newspaper illustrated the story with a photograph of "a typical TV remote" featuring "43 baffling buttons", annotated with captions telling you what each of these buttons did, just to make it look even more complex and bewildering: "cursor up", "cursor down", "a/v input connector 1", "device mode", and so on.

The thing is, there weren't enough buttons for my liking. Unlike my easily-confused mother, I love a complicated TV remote. They should have even more stuff on them: dials and joysticks and flashing lights. I yearn for a remote with its own mouse.

And I don't want a manual. I like to work out what each nubbin does through trial and error, poking it and staring at the screen. Best of all is the "menu" button, which grants you access to a whole new array of on screen options, replete with little icons and sliding scales. Sit me in front of a brand-new telly and it's the first thing I'll reach for, because new tellies often come with surprising and exotic new features provided by the gods of technology.

Cor !! I can design my own font for the subtitles !! Wow! I can flip the picture sideways so I don't have to lift my head if I'm lying perpendicular on the sofa !! And look !! There's a slider for adjusting the level of regional accents! Now I can make the Geordie bloke who narrates “Big Brother” sound like a Cornish fisherman !!

I'll happily spend hours fine-tuning everything to my liking. Woe betide anyone who hits the ‘restore default settings’ button. That's like smashing a piece of ornate pottery I've created or scrawling graffiti all over an oil painting I’ve done of St Paul’s Cathedral.

I tend to assume other people share my obsessive need to examine the settings until everything is just so, and get genuinely enraged when I go to someone's house and discover, say, that they're watching programmes in the wrong aspect ratio. My Nan is one of the worst offenders: she'll blithely sit through a repeat of “Dad's Army” that is unnaturally stretched across the screen so that the entire cast look like Stewie Griffin from “Family Guy”.

Faced with this, primal instincts rear up and over-ride my modern-man cool-headedness, I get acute back-seat-driver anxiety, and end up hectoring them like an exasperated pilot trying to teach a four-year-old how to fly a helicopter.

The last time I was on a plane, I was sitting beside a woman who couldn't comprehend how the in-flight entertainment system worked. The thing was she didn't understand the difference between the controls on my armrest and hers. There I was, halfway through “Iron Man”, when she patted cluelessly at my controls and switched it off. So I started it again, and then she hit my fast-forward button.

At this point, I politely explained what was going on and attempted to help her operate her own system. She nodded and went "ooh" and "ahh", but try as I might, she just didn't get it. Ten minutes later, she stopped my film again, and kept doing so intermittently throughout the flight, sometimes switching my overhead light on for good measure, as if it was just to annoy me.

Her screen, meanwhile, displayed nothing but the synopsis for an episode of “One Foot in the Grave”, which she'd selected by accident but simply never played.

She just sat there, staring at the synopsis for four straight hours.

However, reverse the situation - put me in a 1940s household, say, and ask me to operate a mangle, and the chances are I'd earn her contempt with an equal display of ineptitude. But it isn't the 1940s. It's now. So snap out of it. Hit the right buttons or get left behind, you medieval dunce.

Do you want the evil robots to take over ??

Because that's exactly what'll happen if we don't all keep up.

And it’s not as if I am immune to techo-rage myself. My old computer included a bit of speech-recognition software designed to prevent Repetitive Strain Injury by letting you talk instead of type, but I gave up after I spent more time correcting its mistakes. It got every sixth word wrong, which meant you'd swear in exasperation, and it would think you had finished each sentence by saying, 'Offer god’s ache', and then type that in too.

But my favourite moment of this nature will forever be one from during my student days, when a friend’s mum rang him with what sounded like some terrifying news;

“It’s your Father dear, I’m afraid he’s had an accident”.

My friend steeled himself for the worst, only to hear the reply;

“He’s deleted the printer icon from his desktop, how does he get it back again ?? ....”

I’ve never seen such relief on another human being’s face since.