1. “Love stinks.” - J. Geils Band
2. “Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
3. “Valentine's Day is for couples. Us SINGLES have the other 364 days of the year to enjoy ourselves!” - Unknown
4. “Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” - W. Somerset Maugham in “A Writer's Notebook”
5. “I'm single because I was born that way.” - Mae West
6. “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” - Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex in the City”
7. “Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.” - Jon Stewart
8. “Happy phony, romanticized, overly commercial, sucks to be single, pretend that it's love, day!” - Unknown
9. “Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day.” - Jay Leno
10. “I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” - Unknown
11. “I wish that Valentine's Day came with a fast-forward button...” - Unknown
12. "Everyone has a knight in shining armour, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions." - Unknown
13. “You cannot be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt him. You have your own happiness to think about.” - Melissa de la Cruz, in “The Van Alen Legacy”
14. “The last thing you want to get addicted to is someone.” – Aruho Marvin
15. “I think, therefore I'm single.” - Liz Winston
16. "EX means: Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired. Now EXit my life!" - Unknown
17. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” - William Shakespeare
18. "Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." - The Wizard of Oz
19. “Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.” - Michael Douglas
20. “Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating National Simon Pegg Day.” - The Ranting Brummie
Now listen here all you fucking loved-up cretins, love is not a £2.50 Clintons card and shitty tasting chocolate covered pre-diabetes. Love is not 2 dozen roses to overcompensate for your lack of affection the other 364 days of the year. Love is not a competition with your co-workers over who received the best flower arrangement, the prettiest necklace, or the biggest teddy bear. Love is not a 2-hour wait, and a £200 mediocre meal for two in a poncy restaurant.
Love is not a show, or a feeling to be obnoxiously celebrated once (maybe twice) a year. Love is hard work, commitment and determination. It is not instant. And it is certainly not a charade designed solely to achieve the goal of improving one's personal living prospects. Love is not any of those things.
Now enjoy your cheap choccies, overpriced flowers, your pointless sappy cards that were made in a Chinese card factory, and your heart-attack-inducing fizzy wine with more gas in it than Jeremy Corbyn's arse, celebrate your vapid, shallow 'relationships' and ALL JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE !!
Happy fucking Valentine's Day, you BASTARDS !!