Monday, 16 May 2022

THE RANTING BRUMMIE'S EUROVISON 2022 RAPID ROSTER RUNDOWN

Czech Republic
Did she just step out of the shower? Maybe she took a dip in the stage fountains before the show. 
Great beat but she sounds like she's had 10 pints down the King's Arms and is doing the karaoke.

Romania
He looks very, very, very uncomfortable in those trousers. 
Also those hankies used to be three for a pound down Altrincham Market.

Portugal
Bugger, its the first of the ballads, courtesy of Portuguese Clannad. 
They'll be playing this in Garden Centres in Lisbon for years to come.

Finland
Oh my god !! It's actually The Rasmus !! 
Doing a pound shop cosplay of the kid that got eaten by Pennywise the Clown in Stephen King's IT.

Switzerland
Roger Daltrey's secret love child. Will only probably get saved form nul points by the jury vote.

France
Stop! Hammer Time! I miss the classy bird with the classy breasts from last year.

Norway
Try and see what happens if you ACTUALLY tried to give a wolf a banana. 
And wonder why you no longer have any fingers left.

Armenia
Good job there's no pyrotechnics on this one. 
At least she can go to bed in those pyjamas now she's done.

Italy
Italy's "My Lovely Horse" entry. 
Because nobody ever wants to win twice due to the eyewatering cost of staging the thing.

Spain
It works for her in a kind of flamenco Madonna way. 
Also helps that she has buttocks that could probably enter Eurovision all on their own.

Netherlands
Oh, boy, she's a Dadadadadadadadada-ist. 
Not to mention she doesn't know how do her buttons up properly.

Ukraine
Every single 1990's white rapper cliché thrown into a blender. 
It's not the best thing of the night, but I am sure it will win, and it's obvious why.

Germany
So many instruments on stage he literally can't make his mind up which one to play.

Lithuania
Surprise, surprise!!! It's Lithuanian Cilla Black.

Azerbaijan
If you build it, they will come, numb, numb. 
I will be by the time we get through another ten of these.

Belgium
Lewis Hamilton in a tin-foil jacket you could turn inside out and roast a chicken in.

Greece
They want this to be a James Bond theme so much it practically hurts.

Iceland
This is Eurovision, not the Grand Ole Opry. 
Smack the Pony should sue.

Moldova
The Beastie Boys meets Benny Hill. 
Somehow even worse and more clichéd than Ukraine.

Sweden
Best song by a mile, best singer by a mile, definitely should win. 
She's also bloody gorgeous. I want to move to Stockholm, live in a castle with her and have lots of babies with her.

Australia
Very effeminate man desperate to keep the flies off his face. 
Never gave us any points, the ungrateful colonial bastards!

United Kingdom
Best thing we've entered in years, but nonetheless still a cross between Bill Bailey and Elton John.

Poland
The staging is rather funky but I do wish someone would carry him away as he suggests.

Serbia
For some reason this uncomfortably reminds me of Julianne Moore in The Big Lebowski.

Estonia
So you wanted to do a western theme at Eurovision.
Then you really should have gone the whole hog and had backing line dancers.

Ukraine won in the end … predictably.

AND WE CAME SECOND !!!

Thursday, 12 May 2022

THE RANTING BRUMMIE REVIEWS: "DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS" (2022)

Benedict Cumberbach's Doctor Strange has became a very popular character, especially after the events of Avengers: Endgame and had a good share of the performance in Spider-Man: No Way Home. Multiverse of Madness, the second solo movie for the Master of the Mystic Arts was on a different hype level, however it turned out to be a mixed affair on some levels.

And you might say, "well it's literally called Multiverse of Madness, how do you expect me not to expect a Multiverse from this movie", which I agree with. I had the same expectation when I first heard about the name of the movie and saw the trailers. But trust me, the whole thing revolves around the Multiverse And there is a lot of Madness, but not in a way you're thinking of. Naming this movie Multiverse of Madness was a real double-edged sword and it really shows, by how people reacted to it.

First of all, I have to say that this is probably the most different and unique movie of MCU, at least in the aesthetic department, or should I say the most different-looking. And you already know it's exactly because of Sam Raimi and the horror and creepy aspect he introduces in this movie.

About the runtime, I remember seeing people argue that two hours is not actually bad and Sam Raimi movies are always more or less two hours and we are the unreasonable ones to think two hours. And I and many others thought "well how is a movie about the multiverse is gonna be only two hours? We need at least three hours". Which weren't wrong, because after watching the movie I can say that it definitely needed at least 20 more minutes. 

The pacing is really on and off, it kind off lingers in some scenes and it fast-forwards in some scenes that needed more time, especially the ending. I think they just need to hire better writers because once again, this didn't "feel" a movie, it felt like an episode and a teaser to the real thing, but I still really enjoyed it and had fun with it.

It would be interesting to see a director's cut of the movie or even a Scott Derrickson version where he actually continued the first movie and not mainly WandaVision (which is an understandable problem people have with this), but we'll never see just like we'll never see Edgar Wright's Ant-Man. If I were in Feige's shoes, I'd just go crazy with every movie and give 100% freedom to directors to make whatever they want and go nuts with it and have a different MCU next to the main one. 

For people that are concerned about cameos and think this is film is cameos galore and fanservice, don't worry. The cameos are fairly short, they are great and serve the plot, and are not just there just to be there, and they have some of the most brutal scenes I've seen from MCU.

Danny Elfman did the score and it fit the movie and the gothic vibe beautifully and there was a certain battle that I'm not going to even hint at, but you'll know when you watch the movie, that was just audio-visual delight. I am a little disappointed and sad that they didn't use the amazing Doctor Strange theme Michael Giacchino did, and I think he would've done an amazing job if they kept him, but I guess Danny is Sam's blue-eyed boy. But the score is still good, just wish his iconic theme was used more in this movie.

The visuals were amazing too, although it still had some that looked a bit ropey, and it seems like Marvel has been lacking with CGI in this phase more than before, even in the tv shows. But the thing about the visuals is that even though they are great and a joy to witness, I miss the reality-bending we got in the first movie and No Way Home, I wish they used it here too and went crazier with it.

And as for the direction, I have to say it's pretty good and it's obvious Sam Raimi directed it as it has his fingerprint all over this movie and I loved it. It seems like Marvel is getting a little more open to having visionary directors take the helm and give them freedom. It's obvious that this movie is not given to Sam with 100% freedom, but I think they're getting a little bit better and I hope this freedom becomes bigger in the next projects. 

Sam Raimi does a great job with all the creepy, horror scenes, and the jump scares and this movie is more about witchcraft than it is about wizardry and spells. I really hope they keep doing these different genres and don't just stick to action-comedy as they've been for a long time. It's a breath of a fresh air seeing this being a different kind of superhero movie. I also really liked that he actually used a good colour grading and that the colours and environments are alive and that they don't look like another bland Marvel movie.

I don't think I need to talk about the acting because you already know they all do an amazing job. But surprisingly Wanda is the star of this movie and some people have a problem with that? I get that it's called Doctor Strange and this movie kind of lets Wanda outshine him, but did you also have a problem with Infinity War being more of a Thanos movie, or The Dark Knight is more of a Joker movie? 

I don't get that people say Doctor Strange had less things to do or even less cool things to do than Infinity War, because it felt to me that they both had more of or the same amount of screen-time and Doctor Strange had obviously more screen time. And America Chavez is a really interesting and a great addition to the MCU and Xochitl Gomez did a good job of portraying her.

Some reviews said that Christine Palmer was again underutilized, which I guess? But I don't know what more they could've done with the fast pacing of this movie and I thought they did a decent job with Palmer anyway. Obviously, and as I said before, this movie could've benefited from some breathers and 20 extra minutes, but it was still fine. And Bruce Campbell is great as ever. You can't have a Sam Raimi movie without a Bruce Campbell cameo!

I also heard some people say that they liked the first one better, which it's ok I guess? You could argue that the pacing of the first movie was better and Stephen Strange had a good development in there, but since the villain sucked in that movie, I cannot say that the first one is better. 

In conclusion, this movie might not be what you think is going to be, so manage your expectations, there are some loose ends left from the first movie that they didn't deal with for some reason and it's not really a continuation of Doctor Strange as it is more a continuation of WandaVision, and in that case, people are kind of right if they think this wasn't that much of a Doctor Strange movie and more Wanda's.

OVERALL RATING: 7/10