Monday:
Started construction on a second prototype. It's proving difficult without Johnson because he had nicked all the sellotape. Underson told me he should be back next week. He also told me to push the project ahead, as both Sony and McDonalds are working on rotating spoons. We need to get ours on the market ASAP, even if it does cost a few more lives. Stopped off at the library on the way home - everyone had drowned.
Tuesday:
Underson revealed the full details of my new task this morning. They want a revolving dessert spoon. It needs to hold at least 3 types of sweet, two internally and one on the spoon itself. Design seems simple - should have a working prototype by the end of the week. First blueprints already produced and look promising. Stopped off at the library on the way home - still no water.
Wednesday:
Have constructed a scale model of the spoon, but Johnson can't make gears small enough for it to work. The principle seems sound but the prototype will be the first real test. Underson has authorised me to proceed with testing, providing that the wind doesn't change. Don't understand why. Came home to discover a note from the post office - they tried to deliver a parcel when I was at work. There was also a screaming man with a loaded shotgun in the bathroom. I arranged for the parcel to be delivered Saturday morning.
Thursday:
Crashed the car on the way to work this morning. Too many Rory Bremner impersonators on the road again - had to swerve into a ditch. Car was pulled out by some brown thing. Only minor damage fortunately - a scratched headlight and a chafed spark plug. Arrived 20 minutes late, to discover Johnson putting the prototype together. He's done well - I may let his wife live after all. Construction was complete by 4pm, but I wanted to finish some diagnostics and the Metro crossword. Will test first thing tomorrow. Stopped off at the library on the way home - still no water!
Friday:
Protoype testing went well - only 3 people were killed, although Johnson was horribly maimed. Basic design is sound but a few wrinkles need to be ironed out ... I think the poisoned needles may be gratuitous after all. Underson was very pleased and offered me a small pay rise. Received a note of commendation from the Bee Gees as well. I'm very pleased with Johnson's work - I may make him my personal assistant when his arm is stitched back on. Was late home after writing up the results, so I telephoned the library. STILL no water.
Saturday:
Was awoken by the postman with the parcel. I'd forgotten all about it. Inside was a box full of odd socks and an egg whisk. Mother must be ill again. Decided to get rid of the bricks left over from the barbecue. I put them in a bag, weighed it down with some kittens and threw it in the river. Some maniac screamed abuse at me and fished it out!
Sunday:
Didn't sleep well. Kept having the nightmare about the bucket of pens. Spent most of the day watching videos and eating almonds and watercress. Went for a walk in the afternoon. I found a big stick and attacked a stranger with it. Don't know why.