In this blog post, I will attempt to rewrite the plot of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Captain Planet (1982) replacing the USS Enterprise crew with Danger Mouse and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and replacing the crew of the USS Reliant with Captain Planet and the Planeteers. This is a creative exercise and not meant to offend any fans of the original movie or the characters involved.
The plot goes something like this:
Danger Mouse, the world's greatest secret agent, is in command of the USS Enterprise, a starship that explores the galaxy and defends the United Federation of Planets.
His crew consists of his loyal sidekick Penfold, a timid hamster; Leonardo, the leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a team of four anthropomorphic turtles trained in ninjutsu; Raphael, the hot-headed turtle who often clashes with Leonardo; Donatello, the genius turtle who operates and maintains the ship's systems and gadgets; and Michelangelo, the fun-loving turtle who provides comic relief. They are also joined by their sensei Splinter, who acts as a mentor and advisor.
The Turtles are testing their skills in a mock battle against a Klingon vessel under Danger Mouse and Splinter's supervision, but things go wrong when they receive a distress call from a space station called Regula I. Danger Mouse decides to abandon the simulation and head to Regula I, but he is unaware that the distress call is actually a trap set by his arch-nemesis: Captain Planet, the superhero eco-warrior who has gone rogue and joined forces with the Planeteers, a group of young environmental activists who have been corrupted by his influence. Captain Planet has stolen a powerful device called Project Genesis, which can create or destroy life on any planet, and he plans to use it as a weapon against Danger Mouse and anyone who opposes his radical vision of saving the Earth.
Captain Planet is an alien being who can control the elements of earth, fire, wind, water and heart. He is aided by five young humans who each possess a ring that grants them an elemental power: Kwame from Africa, who has earth; Wheeler from North America, who has fire; Linka from Eastern Europe, who has wind; Gi from Asia, who has water; and Ma-Ti from South America, who has heart. Together, they fought against pollution and environmental destruction.
However, Captain Planet has gone mad with power and seeks to use Project Genesis to create his own utopia, where he can rule as a god. He also has a personal vendetta against Danger Mouse, who was his former friend and ally. After turning against the Federation, and attempting a global socialist coup, Captain Planet and the Planeteers were stopped by the Turtles, Danger Mouse and Splinter, and were found guilty of treason. Danger Mouse decided to exile them on Ceti Alpha V, a planet with an environment similar to Earth, where they could live in peace.
Unfortunately, a cosmic storm shortly after their arrival turned Ceti Alpha V into be a hellish world with disease and attacks from Ceti eels, parasitic creatures that enter through the ears and take over the brain. Captain Planet blamed Danger Mouse for his fate and swore revenge. He managed to escape from Ceti Alpha V when another Federation starship, the USS Reliant, arrived on Ceti Alpha VI, a neighbouring planet that their crew mistook for Ceti Alpha V. Captain Planet pretended to be friendly and offered them hospitality, but secretly took over their minds with Ceti eels. He then used their ship and the Planeteer's rings to attack Regula I and steal Project Genesis.
The Enterprise arrives at Regula I where Danger Mouse and the Turtles find it deserted. They beam down to the planetoid where Project Genesis is hidden and discover that Captain Planet has taken it. They also find Dr. Gadget Hackwrench, the lead scientist of Project Genesis and Danger Mouse's former lover; and David, her son and Danger Mouse's illegitimate child. Along with Gadget's friends, Chip & Dale - The Rescue Rangers, they join forces with Danger Mouse and the Turtles to stop Captain Planet.
Meanwhile, Captain Planet uses Project Genesis to create a massive nebula that blocks all sensors and communications. He lures the Enterprise into it and engages in a battle of wits with Danger Mouse. The two combatants exchange taunts and threats over the intercom, while their ships manoeuvre through the nebula, exchanging weapons fire that causes critical damage to both vessels. Captain Planet has an advantage with his power rings, but Danger Mouse has a crucial edge with his tactical experience and intuition.
The battle reaches its climax when the Enterprise cripples Reliant with a volley of photon torpedoes, where upon Captain Planet activates Project Genesis inside the Reliant, intending to destroy them both and create a new world in his image. Danger Mouse realizes this and orders Michelangelo to warp out of the nebula. However, the Enterprise's warp drive is still offline and they cannot escape in time. In a heroic sacrifice, Splinter goes to the engine room to manually restore the power. He succeeds, but he is exposed to lethal radiation in the process.
The Enterprise warps away from the blast just in the nick of time, and the Genesis Device transforms the nebula into a new world. Danger Mouse rushes to the engine room to see Splinter, who is dying. They share a touching farewell, where Splinter tells Danger Mouse that he has been like a son to him and that he is proud of him. He then passes away peacefully.
Danger Mouse and the Turtles are grief-stricken by Splinter's death, but also amazed by the creation of Genesis. They hold Splinter's funeral in the torpedo bay of the Enterprise, where his body is launched into orbit around the new planet. He then reconciles with David, who accepts him as his father.
The movie ends with Danger Mouse reflecting on his life and his losses. He realizes that he is not as young as he used to be and that he has made many mistakes. He also realizes that he has gained many friends, and now a family. He decides to continue his mission and explore the galaxy with the Turtles. He quotes a line from A Tale of Two Cities, a book that Splinter gave him as a birthday gift: "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."